Nanny Diaries

Thanks to the multiple requests demands from the paternal parental:

Although why he wouldn't want to see her face on a daily basis is beyond me

 I have been inspired to once again rise to the occasion of updating you lucky readers on the ins and outs of my extremely exciting, wonderful, awesome life.

Today's particular subject? 

The Nanny Diaries.

Are you ready for this? I hope so.

 I recently quit one of my nanny jobs, (mostly for my own sanity*) and my other nanny family jumped on the opportunity train and asked me to pick up a few extra shifts. I agreed to put on my Mary Poppins top hat and we all lived happily ever after with my big fat overtime paychecks and spoonfuls of sugar. 

Ha. Yeah right, if that was the case this blog post would be non-existent and I would still be dogging texts from the father figure in my life.

So without further ado, let me update you on how this little adventure is going. 

Today on our way home from the park I made to rookie mistake of taking the long way home (because the kids needed fresh air and NOT because I was killing time before the dreaded lunch hour) and we happened upon a dead bird. Actually it was more of a few feathers and a bone or two near the rain gutter, but I digress. Besides the eight feathers and maaaaybe three drops of blood, there were also about 12,000 tears. Sasha was inconsolable, even through the dreaded lunch hour. So what's the best nanny in the world to do? Hold an impromptu "roadkill funeral" of course. It was short, but tasteful (Obvi). It included a sidewalk chalk mural, and Mariah Carey's smash hit All I want for Christmas is You (details about that obsession in another to post to be sure). Sasha finally calmed down enough to eat her remaining chicken nuggets and I will never, ever walk down the Jasmine Tr. Cul-de-sac again. Mark my words.

That's all for now. I'll write again when I decide to pay the fee, but not actually use the gym membership I gifted myself with in January.

Stay tuned for news of traveling abroad, my lack of social skills in a bar (among other social settings), and that one time I got lost in the gym...really, really, lost.

*but really for the safety of the child who was so incredibly ill mannered and misbehaved I likened him to the offspring of he-who-must-not-be-named in my head.