Paging Dr. Seaton

Do you think it's possible to self-diagnosis a brain tumor?

Cus I'm doing it.  

 Before you run away and read an actual blog, let me explain.

You see, I'm not exactly what one would consider "a risk taker"

I pay my phone bill a month in advance, two if possible.

When planning out my week I try to add in "fun time" during my day and it usually consists of catching up on the latest episode of Parks and Recreation. 

Where else am I gonna learn the latest phrases in feminine solidarity?

So when a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to India with her I politely laughed, mentally added it to my bucket list and continued drinking my lukewarm peppermint tea with extra honey.

But this India idea was like a virus that infected my brain. And it quickly started eating away at my sanity. So I called my friend and she got me the deets on this whole India idea.

Turns out, its a lot harder to go to India than you would imagine. 

Sure there are little details like getting the time off of work, or figuring out a way to afford it, but mainly its the whole travel visa business.

It's more like:

1. Sell us your soul

2. Sign away 15% of any future income you will make

3. and swear on your great grandfather's grave you have as much beef with Pakistan as we do

Then maybe, just maybe we will give you a travel visa.

It took several hours and even more attempts to finish the visa application and send it off along with a pint of my blood.

For some reason they were very interested in my father.

What does he do for a living? 

Where was he born?

Where is he now?

Is he now or has he ever been in prison?

Is he a shady character?

Do you have Daddy issues?

The list went on. and on and on.

They didn't care so much about my mom. (sorry ma)

Lastly they were pretty explicit about their disdain for Pakistan. 

Example questions went a little something like this:

Who do you like better: Freddy Krueger or Pakistan?

 (hint: pick Fred)

In high school were you ever involved in a mock U.N. where you represented Pakistan?

(If so, just stop filling this out because you will never get a travel visa)

If we tried to play six degrees between you and Pakistan, what would we find?

If we tried to play six degrees between your father and Pakistan, what would we find?

Let's just say it was intense. I'm rather drained from the whole experience.

All this work and I'm still not even sure I'll get to go to India! That is where this post finally comes full circle and I conclude with the theory that I must have a brain tumor or something equally horrible for me to go through all these hoops just for a chance to go to India.

I'll let you know how this ends up I promise. 

Over and out.